To Be a Teen Does Not Mean You're Interesting
Brady Norvall, M.A.
Founder and C.E.O. at FindaBetterU®
If you won't heed me, heed Mark Zuckerberg. I don't know him but I can suppose that he has at least some of the traits we use to define "success". He seems happy in his personal relationship. He is charitable. He is educated. He travels and experiences new ideas and cultures. He consorts with some of the brightest minds on the planet. He is a leader in his field. These are all areas which can be used to define success. Why am I stating the obvious? I want to point out one area in which he believes he could improve upon to make himself a better person. I wish to share Mark Zuckerberg's resolution for 2015: to start a book club and read one book every two weeks (http://mashable.com/2015/01/04/mark-zuckerbergs-new-years-resolution/). I often explain to my students, all of whom seem willing to try anything to "get ahead" that if they read ten pages per day of a non-assigned book (i.e. pleasure reading) they're going to read roughly 12 books per year more than most of their peers. Right? That's about 300 pages per month, which is probably a bit longer than an "average" book. While many talk about getting ahead and go as far as getting tutors for every class and driving an hour+ to attend extracurricular programs and volunteer opportunities, rarely do they read just 10 PAGES PER DAY! Perhaps this illustrates the idea that most teens don't know how to be self-driven. Rather, they are looking for direction and instruction and only then can they attack with vigor.
Successful people are always looking for/making ways to continue to get smarter and understand bigger ideas outside of their individual world, even when that world is already so much more intimate for them than it will ever be for most of us.
I also recently read a profile of Tony Hsieh, the founder of Zappos, and one of the most creative and bold entrepreneurs in the world. The article (found here: http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2014-12-30/zappos-ceo-tony-hsiehs-las-vegas-startup-paradise) mentions how he will only hire people he wants to hang out with (even though he doesn't have much time to hang out, it seems) and this means a pre-requisite of a hire is someone who is interesting. The actual quote, "Would Tony want to have a beer with you and find out what you think about outer space and aliens? Absolutely." What must it take to be found interesting by a man of Hsieh's worldliness and intellect? Likely a lot more than a few anecdotes and a self-proclaimed aptitude for business. In fact, that's not what Hsieh is looking for, at all. He's looking for people who have energy and an aptitude for creative solutions.
This made me think back to a quote from Dr. Drew Gilpin Faust, the President of Harvard University, when she spoke at the Aspen Ideas Festival. She was directing her comment to not only those in attendance but to all parents who push their kids into competition for an eventual opportunity to be considered for admission at a highly competitive university. Her comment, "make your children interesting", resonated throughout the world as people dissected and tried to understand how to quantify "interesting". How does Harvard gauge it? With a simple comment about wanting teens who are both thoughtful and thought-provoking, Harvard's President created confusion and chaos among parents who had been focusing all their resources and energy on grades and scores. To have an interesting kid is not an admission guarantee, obviously, but it sure helps when universities, such as Harvard, are sorting through their tens of thousands of applicants who all have high grades, high scores, and strong curriculums. To see more of what President Faust had to say and to better understand the context from which she is speaking: http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/06/how-to-get-into-harvard/373726/
The fact is that I have worked with some amazing and really bright teenagers. But there is a stark difference between one who is intelligent and one who is interesting. I believe a significant factor in that difference has to do with reading. Can someone be smart and not be a reader? Yes. Can someone be interesting and not be a reader? I'm guessing people like the three mentioned above would say "no". And in most cases, I agree. I am not saying that a seventeen year old who does not read can never go on to become interesting, or a reader, for that matter. What I am saying is that how we perceive ourselves and how others (Harvard admissions, for example) might more objectively see us is usually pretty different.
I know a lot of kids who would bet their bank account that Tony Hsieh would find them interesting, shoot, think of all the kids (and their parents) who expect Harvard to find them interesting. For teenagers, a realistic perception of self is typically impossible. Self-awareness is hard enough for adults.
I remember thinking literature was "just not for me" when Catcher in the Rye and The Great Gatsby, along with some Dante's Inferno, were thrust upon me in my high school World Literature course. But what we are told to read and assigned in school is just the smallest snapshot of what is available. Thanks to Tolkien and Steinbeck, I realized this quickly, though not as soon as I wish I had. A difficult element is that most teens resent that which they are told is mandatory. Ultimately, for every one book I haven't enjoyed, there are another 50 of which I have. And if there is one thing to which I can point which explains why I am a more interesting person now than I was at 17, I am certain it has been my love of learning and passion for books. In a world in which competition becomes the cornerstone of everything we push our children toward, it seems funny to say that reading is perhaps the biggest distinguisher of those who are interesting and those who are not. But in this case, we don't have to reinvent the wheel, we just need to drive the damn car to the library.
