April 24, 2008

Going to a School with a Big Game

. . . that was nothing like I had anticipated. Granted, there were certainly many impressive aspects of my visit to Auburn University: the grand, colonial architecture; the massive libraries; the faculty I met; a wonderful lecture from a Continental Airlines executive, etc . . . However, on this trip, which found me accompanying father and son (a soon-to-be Auburn Tiger), Ian and Dan Watkins, so much of the experience was unexpected. Having never been to an S.E.C. Conference university (especially not on homecoming weekend), I had very little concept of what, exactly, the hullabaloo felt like. Little did I realize that it not only felt amazing, but looked amazing, tasted amazing, sounded amazing and . . . well, dare I say, smelled amazing also?! I was privileged to be on this trip. Ordinarily when I go with a student or group of students on a campus or college tour I will be the adult in lieu of the parent(s). With Dan, for example, this was my third state and probably tenth campus that I had been to with him. However, this was our first trip with one of his parents also accompanying us. The idea of getting to experience the campus and environment with Ian and being a ‘fly on the wall’ of their father-son relationship during this eye-opening, football-ing, introduction-to-the-college lifestyle-weekend was no less than fantastic.

Let it be known, this is a wonderful family and Dan, quite clearly, is trusted and appreciated by both his parents. He’s a wonderfully intelligent and thoughtful person who also happened to be a pretty great high school student, graduating a year early, like I wish so many others could motivate themselves to do. Together, we saw a lot of the expected: fanaticism; Auburn flags waving on every building; lots of RV’s; tailgating and orange- everywhere. We also witnessed many things which were unexpected: an entire town square covered in toilet paper; a live tiger in the middle of a downtown sidewalk; the best lemonade on Earth! (one of the only times I can say I am in agreement with Oprah); 80,000 people applauding a marching band; and, of course, the Auburn/Opelika Airport, where all of the Auburn planes and the few University jets are docked and maintained. It’s also where young Dan will be fueling some of his best college memories.

The energy of this town is magnetic. Perhaps this is why Auburn becomes the third largest, most concentrated population in the state of Alabama on any given game day. We ate southern barbecue, stayed in a small, adjacent-to-campus lodge and carried ourselves like we were locals once we found the hot-spot to eat breakfast (and once Ian and Dan found the bookstore to purchase some paraphernalia). Even with all of this, the wonderful experience that comes with getting to learn first-hand about a spirited and beautiful college campus and being in the company of good people, there was a subtle, underlying theme that took my attention away from much of the goings-on: I was accompanying a father and a son who were experiencing their first anxieties, apprehensions and enthusiasms for this enormous step, this ritual writ of passage. Of course Ian and Sue Watkins are both extremely proud that Dan will be enrolling this coming Fall as a member of the prestigious Honor’s College and Aviation Management Program. But the pride of every parent is accompanied by trepidation and a bit of distress over whether the son/daughter is ready to exist outside of the family. For certain, I have been close to this anxiety in the past. In fact, I go through it with every family, every year. However, being on this trip with father and son was an “ah-ha” moment for us all. For Dan, he gained a great understanding of what he could expect from the Auburn experience. For Ian, he was feeling many emotions: pride; relief; excitement; all coupled with equally strong feelings of sadness and, always, apprehension for the fact that his first child would soon leave the house, leave the state of Pennsylvania, leave he and his wife and leave them feeling a bit helpless. We did not talk about this much, Ian and I. In fact, only for a moment when Dan had left his seat during the Auburn Intersquad baseball game (yes, it was a guy’s weekend) did Ian assure me that this transition would be- err, in fact, it already is difficult for both he and Sue— and this was only just October. Dan was not scheduled to leave the house for nearly one more year. This peek into the transition of not only a high school senior, but the parent(s) was so valuable.

Ordinarily my role entails so much focus on maximizing options and enhancing opportunities and the fact that parents can often be more high-strung about the process than their student, made this sound bite that much more memorable for me. I do understand where Ian was coming from when he told me this. I grow extremely close to some of my students and feel a great excitement accompanied by a similarly great anxiety when they earn what they deserve, academically. I, too, hope that they will use their good sense to adapt in a healthy and positive way to this new, often overwhelming, environment that is college academic and social life. However, it would be irresponsible for me to say that I know how parents feel. I do not. Being that this transition is so complex, it was very beneficial for me to have this experience with the Watkins men. I am forever in debt to them both. But shhh, don’t tell that to Dan, I don’t know if my senses can survive another homecoming weekend at Auburn.